I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
