Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
