He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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