she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
