I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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