I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
