Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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