Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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