best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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