trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You dont lie about slip and slides
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize