My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
