Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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