Can Purell be used as lube?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize