I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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