hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
