I think I am morally bankrupt
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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