What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
