thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
