Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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