Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
FUCK WHALES
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
