I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
