So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
