I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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