This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
