You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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