It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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