my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
