the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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