I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
