Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
