I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
