Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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