No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You ruined the universe
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
