coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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