Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
