be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
vagina is talking i cant
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
