So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Dick very happy bro
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
