i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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