My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize