dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
