hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
