mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Boobs are out for the taking
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
