I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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