barbara walters just said penis...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
