dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
