The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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