just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
