On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I sprained my soul last night
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
