An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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