Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
