dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
