and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
