big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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