Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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