Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
