dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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