Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
