I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
