Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
