This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
