I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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