now i know why i became what i already was.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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