we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize