Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
In other news, I just burned my penis
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
