Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
